It’s 4:34 in the morning and I have so much running through my HEAD it doesn’t make any sense. Okay first I have so many why me questions. Like why did I have to get HURT?, why do I feel like I can't TRUST nobody?, why do I feel like I have to please EVERYBODY?, why do I feel like I will never MAKE IT?, ITS JUST SO MANY QUESTIONS AND THOUGHTS THAT I FEEL I HAVE NO ANSWERS TO! I have been through A LOT in so little time. Sometimes I don’t know what to do I feel like giving up but that’s not me I don’t give up. I want to take my storms head on but sometimes I feel like some things are to big for me to handle so I put it in GODS hands. YES, I have been in love and YES I got hurt, which is half of the reason I feel the way I do. I have took the verbal and emotional abuse from him. Yes I do still love him but who doesn’t still love their first love. I went through so much with that boy. From wiping his tears, from sitting and listening to his problems, from listening to his dreams, from listening to his past, listening to his present and how he wants to better his future. YES I WAS THERE! I was the one who stood strong by his side no matter what EVERYBODY else would say why because I LOVED HIM. But hey I guess I wasn’t what he was looking for and he moved on to somebody who was a FRIEND OF MINE! But that’s how it be sometimes WELL that’s what they tell me. Sometimes I feel like I’m in this world all by myself. Yes I have friends but they don’t want to hear about my problems all the time. Can’t run to mama she got problems on her on. Can’t run to DADDY he doesn’t care.
I talk to my grandmother who passed in “2006” all the time. I miss her soooooooooooooooooo much she was the one who kept my head on straight and the one who kept my anger down. Her saying was “let the lord handle it”. That would always make me smile. I smiled a lot when she was here but it seems like every since she has passed away things have made a BIG turn around family wise. I don’t know what’s going on. But I guess it will get better. I WONDER when tho. Some MANY questions. That has NO answers!
I just want all these cloudy days to go away but for the time being ill sit back and wait to see what unfolds! I don’t know what god has planned for me but I know its something WONDERFUL my god has never let me down, he has always been on time for everything I LOVE my god!
Sincerely,
Asr.....
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My original intent was to give you some encouragement and maybe a few answers to your questions that still linger unanswered. Reading this post I getthe vibe tat you would rather find these answers on your own. With that, I can only offer support. Sorry that I have to answer one of your questions, but you are not in this world alone. Im here; i've been here. You know my number lovergirl so stop neglecting to use it.
ReplyDeleteyes i want to find out these answer on my own and since this post i have got some of the answers and i dont want to neglect your number i just dont think you always wanna here about my problems....but i will call if there is something wrong for now on. love you bestfriend!
ReplyDeleteLove you too homie!! =D
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